No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
