Umm I'm too high to move.
Just cropdusted the office
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
