Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
