Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
