She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
