it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
