you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
