you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
