Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
