Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
