so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she peed on how many people?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
