Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
wow bdsm is so cute
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
