they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dear god my vagina.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
