love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
