She's JV to your varsity
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
