u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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