So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
