turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
