I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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