My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
