i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
