i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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