why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
