Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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