hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can't turn off my feet"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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