I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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