Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
