The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
