1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
