I think i peed on brittanys purse
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When did angry sex become our thing?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
