only if we run a train.
done.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
