Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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