ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
