Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Mom said you looked used
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
