Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
