How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
