Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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