Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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