OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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