And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
