u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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