If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
