i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
