"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
