I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
