i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
