Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
