Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
