And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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