Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He passed out mid-signature
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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