My brain says no but my pants say off.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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